Devastated.
If I could sum it up in one word after struggling to comprehend all of this in complete disbelief, it would be devastated.
Los Angeles Lakers legend Kobe Bryant is no longer with us, and it still doesn't seem real as I type these words.
The Lakers took a gamble on a 17-year-old back in 1996 whom then-general manager Jerry West was fascinated with, and the result was better than anyone could've imagined. Bryant helped lead this iconic franchise to five NBA titles during his 20-year stint. He left an unforgettable impression on everyone who coached him, played alongside him, met him, and covered him as a member of the media.
I was in the last group.
Well before I received the nod from the Lakers for a press pass to a game in 2011, Kobe Bryant had a profound impact on my life.
It was a complicated relationship right out of the gate with Kobe, as I was quite fond of Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones. I viewed Bryant as a cocky kid whose one goal in life was to prove he was better than my idol, Michael Jordan. Because of that, along with Van Exel and Jones eventually being traded because the team valued Kobe as more of an asset in the backcourt, I honestly didn't like Bryant … at first.
This brash rookie out of Philadelphia had taken the shine from my favorite Laker at the time in Van Exel while also trying to emulate Jordan's game. That didn't sit well for me at all, especially after the airballs he jacked up against the Utah Jazz when the ball should've been in Van Exel's hands. Little did I know that failure would eventually alter the course of his career and ultimately how I viewed the rising star.
I resented Bryant and everything he stood for until he began living up to the hype while showing the world what he could do on the basketball court. I found myself tuning in every night as a kid just to see what he would do next while realizing the Lakers actually made the right move by sticking by this confident young player out of Philly. My love for the game only grew, which I thought impossible after Jordan retired for the second time with the Chicago Bulls. Jordan inspired me more than anyone at that time, especially with this quote that I still pull out from time to time.
“I can accept failure; everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.”
However, it wasn't until the Lakers traded Shaquille O'Neal and went all-in on Kobe Bryant that the future Hall of Famer started to make an impact on me. His “Mamba Mentality” became something I embraced and tried to implement at that time in my life, which took a drastic turn due to a life-altering car accident.
I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, partying and drinking on a nightly basis with no direction or ambition while driving my parents insane as a 20-something going nowhere in life. This ultimately sent me over a cliff in my truck three miles from my home at 3 a.m. I dozed off while driving and woke up stuck in a truck that was still running at the bottom of this cliff in a canyon. My truck was crushed like a tin can after having rolled more than three times, pinning my head against the ceiling while my hands were stuck on the steering wheel trapped by the broken windshield.
Covered in blood and in a panic, I somehow was able to squeeze my way out of the driver's side window. Once I got free, I ran up the hill and got back on the street to only look down on my truck. There was a full moon that night and no street lights or houses for miles in the middle of this canyon. Not a car in sight. Not a single sound could be heard other than my truck still running and my panicked breathing.
With no cell phone, which flew out of the window, I walked three miles home with the full moon to guide me down the street. All I see in remembering that long and lonely walk was that moon staring right at me as if I was walking in a spotlight of shame for being so reckless and irresponsible.
I should've died. Even to this day, it makes no sense that I came out of this accident with only a concussion, bruises all over my body, and scars on my hands due to the glass I had to pull out of them. The police couldn't believe it. My parents were dumbfounded when they saw the truck. The pictures I show people leave them with dropped jaws.
Once the dust settled, I came to one conclusion: I'm on borrowed time.
As a result of this life-changing accident, Kobe Bryant's mentality and all the inspiring quotes he had at the time were exactly what I needed to head into a challenging and uncertain future.
I changed my ways and began to focus on what was next. I worked a lot of labor jobs in my life and a lot of gigs, which took a toll on the body without reaping the rewards in the bank account. I've always been artistic, so I thought that was the obvious way to go. I went to an art class at a local community college (College of the Canyons) and created artwork that still amazes me to this day as I attacked it with a different mindset. But I didn't love it.
Everyone told me, “You've got to do something with this! You're talented.”
The problem was a lack of passion for what I was able to do that came naturally. I enjoyed it but didn't love it. So this left me with one question: What am I passionate about?
Basketball. Sports.
Although I was passionate about the game and played regularly with some of the best players in town, I knew there was no way I'd play ball on any level. That dream died long ago. However, there had to be some way to use this passion.
It turns out there was something, and it was the last thing I could imagine doing: Writing about sports.
Along with an art class, I was also taking a history class (something that also intrigued me) at the community college. I didn't think for a second that class would impact me the way it did or show me something that would lead me to discover a hidden talent. In that class, I wrote an essay on “Braveheart,” which was one of my favorite movies of all time, and I knocked it out of the park, earning praise from the professor. It was the first time in my life where writing flowed, and then I had an epiphany.
If it is something I'm genuinely passionate about or it sparks my interest, I can write about it and thrive in that space. This is where I began to fully embrace Kobe Bryant's philosophy, as I was as determined as I had ever been in my life.
“Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.”
This led me to make a few bold choices. I moved to Orange County to live with some buddies of mine who were in an all-Latino fraternity, Sigma Delta Alpha. It was an awkward situation at first because I was the only white guy in a frat house for this fraternity and didn't even attend the college, UC Irvine.
However, it was precisely what I needed. I worked at Enterprise Rent-A-Car with close friends, Joe Guerrero and Jose Rodriguez, whom I shared a room with at the house.
No exaggeration: I slept on a tile floor with a sleeping bag on top of one of those foam egg crates sharing the same room with two other guys.
At one point, the gas was shut off because no one in the house paid the bill. We had cold water and no heat for about a month, if I remember correctly. Even though it appeared to be a beautiful six-bedroom house in Irvine, it was far from that once you opened the front door.
Cold showers at 6 a.m? No bueno!
One day after work, I came home after working a long shift and hadn't heard from the guys. I open the front door, and it's dark, but I can hear my roommates laughing with a flicker of light bouncing off the walls looking like candles were lit. The power had been shut off, leaving the guys to resort to candles, but it didn't stop there. These guys decided to have fun with it, and as I stand at the door, one of my roommates comes sliding by my feet. They poured candle wax all over the tile floor and were using it as a slip-and-slide.
PRICELESS!
Not exactly a comfortable living situation, but I'll never forget or regret it — one of the best times of my life with friends that I now consider family.
Although we had our fair share of fun, everyone in the house — I think there were eight or nine of us — was driven and focused. It was the ideal environment for me to get on track and pursue this newfound ambition. I was ready to show this passion through my writing, and I had the perfect audience with the majority of my friends and roommates being die-hard Lakers fans.
In my spare time, I started a free blog on Blogger, and off I went. It turns out the paper on this movie I loved was no fluke as I wrote post after post on a daily basis on all things Lakers.
I was hooked!
The words just poured out of me in an expressive way that I never thought possible, and the best part was people digging it. This led me on a long journey as I became a sponge in terms of learning how to best distribute the content I was writing. It went from a hobby to an obsession as I was eager to learn everything and anything I could to improve my craft and get the most eyeballs on the articles. I've got stacks and stacks of notebooks filled with things I learned over the years to make this profession a reality.
Once people started to read what I was writing and positive (as well as critical) reviews came in, I was determined to go as far as I could. Although I've had my fair share of critics along the way, I try to use one of Kobe Bryant's quotes to drown out the noise.
“Haters are a good problem to have. Nobody hates the good ones. They hate the great ones.”
Fast-forward to 2011, when I was able to cover Kobe up close and personal. The Lakers granted me access through Examiner, which now is AXS. Every request I made for a seat was granted, and I got to see how things worked behind the scenes leading up to today, where I cover the team with a season credential for ClutchPoints.
A dream come true!
During my first season, the Lakers were hoping to pull off another three-peat with Kobe leading a talented group of players that included Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom, Metta World Peace, and Derek Fisher. This squad was as tightknit a group as any I have seen during my time covering the team. This year's team is the closest I have seen to that 2010-11 season.
My first locker room experience was surreal. The media scrums were big, but nowhere near what they are today. Household names at almost every locker with Phil Jackson just down the hall. Everything was larger than life, especially when Bryant entered the room.
Kobe had a presence about him that seemed otherworldly. There's no question I was starstruck at first, especially considering his impact on my journey along the way. But even when it became normal to see him every other day during the season, the postgame scrums were priceless because he always had something interesting and insightful to say. He was the smartest guy in the room every night, which is about as intimidating as it gets for an aspiring reporter and writer.
Bryant would almost always be the last to talk after the locker room cleared out. He used to get treatment on his body after every game, and that was never a quick process. I remember once waiting until midnight for Bryant to be ready to talk at his locker. It's just the way he was. He made you wait, but it was always worth it as he, more often than not, would drop a pearl of wisdom.
Although I didn't get to cover the best moments of his NBA career, I did get to witness him battle through some of the most trying times of the 20 years he spent in a Lakers uniform, all while finishing it in epic fashion with a 60-point game. That game remains the best sporting event I have ever covered, and I don't know if that will ever change. It was the embodiment of his “Mamba Mentality” and his sheer determination to finish on an unforgettable high note, which is in the running for the best finale in sports history.
In all the games I've covered or watched him play, I've never seen him so exhausted on the basketball floor. He had the will to push through to satisfy all those who supported him over the span of two decades. It was an incredible moment I will never forget, and it's something I refer to whenever I'm complaining about being too tired or overwhelmed with an aspect of life.
After Kobe Bryant's tragic passing on Sunday, I was hit hard by the news, much harder than I anticipated as I realized just how much of an impact he had on my life and the lives of others. His death sent shockwaves throughout Los Angeles and the entire world.
This man was an inspiration. This man was a role model. Kobe Bryant's legacy will live on forever while continuing to inspire those he impacted, and the many who will be inspired by his story for generations to come.
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