Parody: Paul George's Daughter "Fed Up" with Russell Westbrook, Demands Transfer to LA School District
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Paul George’s Daughter “Fed Up” with Russell Westbrook, Demands Transfer to LA School District

Russell westbrook, Paul george

“THE CHOKE is the parody side of ClutchPoints. Everything seen and heard here is purely for entertainment and comedic purposes.”

BEL AIR, LOS ANGELES — Following OKC’s embarrassing first-round loss to the Utah Jazz, rumors about Paul George’s future with the franchise returned to the hot stove. The 5-time All-Star has been linked to his hometown Los Angeles Lakers since last offseason, and there’s a growing belief he’ll head to Tinseltown this summer.

That notion heightened on Thursday afternoon when George reportedly pulled his daughter Olivia out of Heritage Hall a month before the end of the school year. The 4-year-old just wrapped up the standardized testing required in the state of the Oklahoma before entering kindergarten, but she still hasn’t taken her Peace And Conflict Resolution and Astrophysics finals.

Now, sources tell The Choke that it actually wasn’t Playoff P who took Olivia out of Heritage Hall. Rather, his daughter has demanded a transfer to the LA Unified School District after growing “fed up” with Russell Westbrook’s selfish play, which has made her father grow irritable at home.

Olivia tells The Choke that George regularly plays Fortnite rather than reading bedtime stories, no longer cuts her food before meals, and keeps a detailed statistical breakdown of “father-daughter” time, never exceeding the state’s required allotment (although she adds that he always makes sure to hit double-digits).

“I just want my dad back to normal,” said Olivia, who is already fielding scholarship offers from LA’s top private elementary schools. “He puts on a straight face for the cameras, but behind the scenes he’s miserable thanks to Uncle Russ. 43 shots in an elimination game? You’re not Jesus Shuttlesworth, and those weren’t the Monstars.

“I always have my daddy’s best interests in mind, and it’s time to get out of this toxic relationship.”

While it’s unclear which school Olivia will land with, exclusive sources tell us that the growing favorite is Notre Dame Prep, where LeBron James and his wife toured last September.