Breaking: Drake joins Cavs season ticket waitlist [PARODY]
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The Choke

BREAKING: Drake joins Cavs season-ticket waitlist after Raptors get swept

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You know his face. You know his name. You also know he’s known for two distinct properties within the entertainment industry.

  1. Music
  2. The Toronto Raptors

This may be changing before our very eyes.

Confirmation has come our way that diehard Raptors fan Drake has joined the Cleveland Cavaliers season-ticket waitlist.

As common as the relationship between the NBA and hip-hop industry has been through the decades — the Notorious B.I.G and an unnamed New York Knicks player (presumed Anthony Mason) as just one lyrical example — is as uncommon as it feels when the ultra-popular Drake is proudly repping his hometown team north of the border.

Yet there he’s been, always backing the squad that fails to carry over regular-season success into the tournament — the NBA Playoffs. Seemingly nothing could deter Drake’s love for his hometown squad. Even Twitter squabbles with LeBron James Jr. couldn’t possibly turn the man.

That is, until, now, on the night the Toronto Raptors were officially eliminated by the Cleveland Cavaliers in four quick and merciless games.

It started with a known Drake buddy opening his mouth.

Due to the location of Game 4, Cleveland, Drake was not in attendance with The King demolished his boys. He does travel well via Spike Lee circa 1994 at times, as we all know, but down 0-3 against James, he didn’t make the trip.

Instead, he was hanging with the boys — and one boy in particular who loves his social media.

Drake Tweet

The artist formerly known as the Raptors fan didn’t respond to the tweet, but also couldn’t. Apparently, he, Odell Beckham Jr. and friends were watching the game from wherever they roamed on Monday night and OBJ just felt like stirring the pot.

After it reached the masses, the tweet was deleted.

Of course, the New York Giants star receiver idolizes the greatest basketball player walking planet Earth. Everything he does is further motivation for the LSU product (as revealed with his most recent LBJ tweet).

ClutchPoints reached out to its most trusted Cavs source and received an extremely confirming response about Drake’s plans to move his support south of the border:

“Just stay tuned. That’s all I’m going to say right now,” sources told Rook Hoyle of ClutchPoints in response to Drake’s desires to get involved with the Cavs organization.

Though Drake is still known for two things, the second item is a bit different after Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals:

  1. Music
  2. Bandwagon Leaper
  3. Philadelphia Eagles fan
  4. Houston Astros fan
  5. Alabama Football fan
  6. Villanova Basketball fan

Did I say two items? Well … you get the idea.

Drake should now be known as the artist formerly known as the NBA fan with integrity.

Update:

In response to the overwhelming reaction, Drake has responded.

He admits to contacting the Cavs organization, but does not admit a change of allegiance. In fact, he’s selling the idea that it’s pro-Toronto.

“Yeah, we contacted the Cavs. It has nothing to do with Game 4 or the series. In fact, none of ya’ll would know if I was taking this course of action for a specific reason.

“What if my presence at Cavs games actually helped the Raptors? Umm, scouting for example? Listen, my boys were once bounce of the ball away from making this thing a legit series. One hoop, one pass, one right bounce and the Raptors would be moving on.”

The Choke is satire. This is not real. What’s really anyway? Are we even, in the grand scheme of things, real? Let’s not talk about semantics of realness.