On Tuesday, the United States of America suffered one of the worst school shootings in American history. A crazed 18-year-old gun man walked into an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas and killed 21 people, including 19 children. The shooting has created an outpour of support for the families and loved ones, but also once again prompted a national conversation regarding our gun laws. Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr gave a passionate plea to the government prior to Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals. The shooting incident has sparked outrage among celebrities, athletes and the rest of us alike. That includes San Francisco Giants manager Gabe Kapler.

On Friday, the Giants manager penned an essay detailing his thoughts and plans moving forward.

During his essay, he mentioned that he felt like a coward for not kneeling during the national anthem prior to Tuesday night’s game. He later revealed that he will no longer be on the field during the anthem until he agrees with the direction of the country.

“My brain said drop to a knee; my body didn’t listen,” Kapler wrote in his essay. “I wanted to walk back inside; instead I froze. I felt like a coward. I didn’t want to call attention to myself. I didn’t want to take away from the victims or their families… I am not okay with the state of this country. I wish I hadn’t let my discomfort compromise my integrity. I wish that I could have demonstrated what I learned from my dad, that when you’re dissatisfied with your country, you let it be known through protest. The home of the brave should encourage this.”

Sadly, until this country can enact logical gun legislation, our children are not free and not everyone was brave.