After 762 episodes and 35 seasons, it might feel like The Simpsons has covered everything under the sun, but once in a while life offers a fresh inspiration that feels preordained to be humorously reimagined by the first family of adult animated comedy. The real-life Springfield, Trader Joe's controversy, reported on recently by The New York Times, gave us one such perfect setup, and Simpsons showrunner Al Jean and the rest of the writers' room needs to begin development ASAP — it practically writes itself.

The controversy arose last Thursday when Trader Joe's told a Springfield, Mo. newspaper that it was opening a store there, and residents — who had been clamoring for a Trader Joe's there for some time (even devoting a Facebook group to the cause) — were understandably ecstatic.

However, within minutes, Trader Joe's sent another message to the newspaper — explaining that they made a mistake, and the new Trader Joe's was coming to Springfield, Va., not Springfield, Mo.

The Trader Joe's spokeswoman explained to the newspaper, “I realized this morning that The Springfield News-Leader is in Missouri. Unfortunately, I thought you were speaking of Springfield, Va.”

The newspaper's editor, Amos Bridges, then lamented that “It was an unpleasant lesson that left us, like readers, disappointed (and a little jealous of the shoppers in that other Springfield). “In the future,” he continued, “we’ll be more explicit in our requests before running with a company’s confirmation.”

If this whole situation doesn't sound like the perfect terrain for a storyline set in the fictional (and geographically ambiguous) world of Springfield where The Simpsons resides, I don't know what is.

Springfield finding out a Trader Joe's is coming to town (which of course would have to happen in act two after an amusing and entirely unconnected act one comedic set piece), feels like it would prompt a Simpsons musical number in the vein of the great “Monorail Song” from a classic Conan O'Brien-scripted episode.

I'll leave it to the writers to figure out what to rhyme with “everything but the bagel seasoning,” but you get the idea.

The plot would then turn on the discovery that it is actually a different Springfield town that is getting the Trader Joe's, causing confusion, sadness and rioting in the streets of the Simpson's Springfield.

But after the commercial break, Homer would start scheming at a way to get back at the monolith alternative grocery store, and when Bart suggests they open their own competing business, “Barter Bart's” is born.

Cue a montage of food puns lining the shelves of the new establishment. Pre-made pizza d'oh! Don't have a cow almond milk. Eat my short rib. Disco Stew. Sideshow Cobb. Stuff like that.

But when running and maintaining their own store proves too exhausting, Homer begins driving three hours away to the other Springfield's actual Trader Joe's, buying up all the merchandise and then driving it back to his Springfield, slapping a new “Barter Bart's” label on everything, and selling things at a markup.

The con would inevitably be uncovered, but Homer would land on his feet when his carefree good looks in a Hawaiian shirt serendipitously land him a plus-sized modeling contract for Tommy Bahama. He is then able to pay off his debt for the storefront, returning everything in the Simpson household to normal just in time for the closing credits.

You see? I told you, it writes itself! Now, please, The Simpsons, get on this “Once Upon a Trader Joe's in Springfield” episode post-haste! I'm fine with a story by credit but if you'd like me to script the episode as well, call my agent.