The USC Trojans are embracing the petty. According to the school, it has never lost to the Texas Longhorns in football.

“What about the 2006 Rose Bowl?” A smart reader might ask themselves. About that …

Any college football fan worth his or her own salt (if age allows it) will certainly remember that time Vince Young led the Longhorns to a 41-38 victory in that game, which as a result, made the Trojans lose.

My math isn't good, but that means USC lost to Texas. Right?

Nope.

Remember Reggie Bush? That awesome talent from back in the day? You know, that kid who played in the 2006 Rose Bowl? Well, while he had his Heisman Trophy stripped (LOL), the BCS — yes, that relic — determined that USC's games must be vacated. Here is Bill Hancock in 2011:

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“The BCS arrangement crowns a national champion, and the BCS games are showcase events for postseason football. One of the best ways of ensuring that they remain so is for us to foster full compliance with NCAA rules. Accordingly, in keeping with the NCAA's recent action, USC's appearances are being vacated.”

What was basically ruled is that USC didn't exist in that Rose Bowl game in 2006. It is why the team is going to, on a technicality, get away with this:

The petty is real. It is awful and wonderful at the same exact time, yet it is incredibly real.

I, too, would like to vacate all the things I've said over the years when too many adult-cocktails were inside my system. They've been ruled as vacated nights on the town, per me, thus making me free of any and all evilness that may have happened.