LaVar Ball can't help himself. Despite his eldest son already jettisoned from the Los Angeles Lakers, Pappa Ball is back to claim all three of his sons will be donning the Purple and Gold soon.
Wait… what? Ugh, yes! I'm also here to claim the ocean is filled with the tears rolling down from the face of Lou Albano in heaven, as he's severely saddened by the lack of good professional wrestling managers in 2020. If he gets to say wild nonsense, so do I! Anywho, let's digress.
Don't believe me about Ball's claim? Well, here's the proof! And by proof, I mean LaVar talking to someone who appears to be a teenager, filmed with a standard definition camera from 1935.
“They coming back to the Lakers later. That’s the inside scoop, don’t let them know that yet. We pop up all three of them over there.”
– LaVar Ball on Lonzo/Gelo/LaMelo teaming up at Staples Center for the #LakeShow pic.twitter.com/k1VQ5lgXsw— ClutchPoints (@ClutchPointsApp) May 5, 2020
Why does LaVar's Big Baller Brand sweatshirt look like a rip from the WrestleMania logo?
Who knows? Not me. Certainly not the Lakers.
Anywho, everyone should take what Pappa Ball said with a grain of salt, then wash it down with seven bottles of the cheapest vodka one can find. He is:
- Not the Lakers GM.
- Has zero connections to the franchise.
- Doesn't have ESP.
- Is the bold-takes guy who says outlandish stuff for the sake of attention (well done, Mr. Ball).
Let's be Camp Crystal Lake clear here: The odds of all three Ball brothers ending up on the same team, nevertheless the Lakers, is similar to Christina Ricci going out on a date with me. Like, sure, there's a small chance Ricci goes blind, cares not for my awful personality and prefers my leathery face over some handsome Hollywood heartthrob, but it's not likely.
Nevertheless, there's a chance. I get Ricci. The Balls get the Lakers or something.
Also, the 12-year-old in the video is wearing a BBB shirt. It's riddled with Lakers colors all while Lonzo Ball is hanging from his wall.
This was the worst Twilight Zone episode ever.
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