AEW fans, it’s official; after more than a month of anticipation, Juice Robinson is All Elite.
That’s right, after working a fantastic bout with his New Japan Pro Wrestling rival Jon Moxley in an eliminator match for the AEW World Championship in Philadelphia back in September, a match that reportedly garnered such “massive” internal interest within All Elite HQ that he was offered a contract, the real-life husband of ex-AEW Women’s World Champion Toni Storm has signed on the dotted line, but not before he took a shot at one of the best in-ring performers in the business, Samoa Joe, aka “The King of Television.” Afforded 48 seconds – give or take – to issue his challenge, Robinson cut one heck of a promo on his soon-to-be in-ring foe.
“For those of you who don’t know who I am, my name is Juice Robinson, and I’m a former three-time United States Champion,” Robinson said. “I’m here to issue a challenge for December 10th in Arlington, Texas, at ROH Final Battle against the “King of TV,” Samoa Joe for the ROH Television Championship. You know I’ve done a lot in Japan, but I need to prove myself in America. If I’m going to be a Superstar on television, then I need that ROH World Television Title around my waist. Joe, you may be the “King of TV” now, but kings get dethroned.”
Will Robinson prove he has the Juice and earn his first championship for a promotion not named New Japan Pro Wrestling – or Impact Wrestling – since he was known as CJ Parker in Florida Championship Wrestling in 2012? Only time will tell, but it’s safe to say Robinson is going to be a big part of AEW’s plans moving forward, as you don’t generate “massive interest” from a promotion only to ride the bench.
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) December 3, 2022
AEW just landed one of the best promos in the business, per Kevin Owens.
While AEW fans certainly know that Robinson can wrestle, as you don’t secure the IWGP United States Championship three times or two separate tag team championships – the IWGP Tag Team Championship and the Impact World Tag Team Championship as part of FinJuice with David Finlay – without having some in-ring ability, fans may not know that, per Dave Meltzer, Juice is the man Kevin Owens believes to be the best promo in the wrestling world.
Don’t believe him? Well, Meltzer suggested a promo to prove his case, specifically one he cut after Jay White broke his hand in New Japan Pro Wrestling.
“What does that look like to you? What does that look like to you?” Robinson asked. “I’m no doctor, I’m definitely no doctor, but that’s a broken metacarpal that’s what that is, a broken metacarpal. Okay Jay (White), guess what? I have 206 bones mother f*cker, 206, I think. I might be wrong, good thing I don’t have Twitter so no one can let me know. Yeah, 206 bones, he broke one; I still have 205. I know what you’re doing, I know you’re smart. You’re smart and you’re a bada–, you know that’s how I win my matches, I hit mother f*ckers in the jaw and then hit them with Pulp Friction. Well, it doesn’t look like I’ll be hitting Pulp Friction anytime soon, not with my left hand anyway. Guess what dumba–, I’ve rolled up Kenny Omega, I’ve rolled up big Michael Elgan. I can roll a mother f*cker up just like I can hit um with a left hand then *god* hit um with Pulp Friction.”
“You’re smart Jay, but your heart and your nuts are little small, shriveled-up pieces of sh*t. I’m all heart and nuts, heart in one broken hand, nuts in the other mother f*cker. San Francisco? Phew, San Francisco, I’m an American, that’s an American belt and that’s in America, on America’s Birthday. You ain’t American. Kenny Omega, no offense, you aren’t an American too. Do you know who needs that belt? An American. Well guess what? I’m next in line. I’m gonna be coming into San Francisco red, white, and blue, sparklers shooting out my nipples and launching bald eagles out of my a–. You’re right Jay, I can f*ck with you just like you can f*ck with me, alright? Yeah, ‘oh Juice, he’s flamboyant and he wears rainbows and he hops around and acts like an a–hole,’ well guess what? I like whooping mother f*ckers’ a–es too, alright? You want me to grab a chair? You want me to grab a chair and start swinging, huh? I’ll see you in San Francisco. You know what? I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah, mata ashita mother f*cker. Mata asatte mother f*cker. Mata shi asatte mother f*cker. I’m gonna see you all over Japan before we step foot in San Francisco, and when we do, I’m gonna whoop you’re a–, and I will take that US Championship.”
Goodness gracious, now that is a promo. Now, it’s one thing to cut a wild and wacky promo when it’s pre-scripted, plenty of people can memorize a two-minute script and passionately regurgitate it back. Robinson cut that on the spot, with a broken hand no less, and came up with some seriously clever lines off the (broken) cuff. Folks, AEW just secured themselves one heck of an asset, one with the KO stamp of approval, no less.