2017 was a simpler time. Netflix wasn’t on a mission to raise their rates every few months; Twitter wasn’t adding features to their app no one wanted; And Charlie Villanueva’s toilet being stolen was the end-of-the-year story everyone didn’t know they needed.

Charlie Villanueva, a man who we later learned truly cared for his potty, is certainly best known for his time playing basketball. That, and… uh… that time Kevin Garnett said very mean things about him, before backtracking a bit.

Nevertheless, in Dec 2017, the world forever changed when Charlie V unleashed a heartfelt tweet, sending shockwaves throughout the porcelain powder room populace.

Other appliances were apparently also stolen, but it was Charlie’s commode that seemed to have bothered him most. On top of that, he appeared angered with the police department, as they weren’t exactly reacting to this dumpy situation in great haste.

Like basketball, this was certainly a game of runs. That being said, instead of it being two teams battling it out for supremacy, this back and forth battle featured Villanueva sending out heartfelt tweets about his missing toilet, then social media users quickly turning the burglary into a chance to use puns.

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None of them were all that special. If we’re being honest, even the best play on words can leave everyone with a shitty (bleep that word if you have to) taste in their mouth.

Things got so out of pocket; another Twitter user created the handle “@stolen_toilet” and responded to one of Villanueva’s tweets by asking: “Charlie are u looking for me?”

…He was.

The biggest unanswered question in regards to this entire situation has nothing to do with whether or not Villanueva and his beloved throne were ever reunited. It’s more simplistic than that. Without most of us knowing exactly what underbelly of deviance looks like… is there actually a demand for toilets on the black market?

Furthermore, are there specific asks? The sort that result in a very specific person having their pot-pot stolen like it was an Ocean’s 11 movie?

Black Market Dealer: How may I help you?

Consumer: I would like a nice toilet.

Black Market Dealer: Home Depot can probably get you that without any risk.

Consumer: It has to be Charlie Villanueva’s toilet.

Black Market Dealer: …

Consumer: …

Black Market Dealer: 300,000 American Dollars.

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Consumer: DEAL!

As for the police, without a toilet at the actual crime scene, they had nothing to go on…

… ah, bathroom humor.

Sadly, as do all criminal mysteries, as time went on the public lost interest in the case. With it now being 2019, coupled with Unsolved Mysteries no longer airing on television (DAMN YOU ROBERT STACK!), a toilet loving nation may never learn the fate of Charlie V’s commode.

Hopefully, as time passes, a proper Making A Murderer-styled documentary is made, reinserting this kidnapping back into the public’s conscious.

Until then, we’re thinking of you, Charlie Villanueva’s toilet. You’ve been crapped on long enough.