After being thoroughly embarrassed on the previous episode of RAW by Johnny Gargano and his universal remote, The Miz was looking to change his narrative within the WWE Universe. Booking a segment of his “Miz TV” show via Adam Pearce and company, Miz asked Byron Saxton to interview him, a surprise format change from the show's typical schtick, in order to explain his side of the story after Gargano's d*mning hidden camera exposé proved to the WWE Universe that he did, in fact, contract Dexter Lumis for a sort of convoluted sympathy project that fell apart when the two-shows-on-the-USA-Network-star stopped paying for his services.

And the best part? Miz came really looking for sympathy, as his outfit clearly showcased.

Miz-ter Rogers indeed, WWE social media team.

Unfortunately for the two-time Grand Slam Champion, his attempt to use Saxton as a sympathy engine quickly fell apart, as Gargano emerged from the back to the tune of his “Rebel Hearts” theme song and quickly poked holes in Miz's story. He turned any genuine attempt at getting the crowd at his back into a joke, reveled in the chants of “Johnny Wrestling” that were inadvertently spurned on by “The A-Lister,” and ultimately delivered an ultimatum from the higher-ups that would finally close this chapter of The Miz's career: Lumis and Miz will wrestle at Survivor Series, if the former wins, he gets a contract and all of the money he's owed.

And if Lumis loses? Well, Miz will never have to see him in WWE again.

Sounds like a pretty good opportunity, right? Miz can wipe out his dept and his stalker on the count of 1-2-3, and he can then move on to his next scheme to become a popular babyface, maybe repackaging himself as something like “Captain Puppies and Kittens” or another attempt at cheap heat. Either way, after being chased off by Lumis at the end of the segment, losing his cardigan in the process, The Miz had a ton to say on the matter to Cathy Kelley in the back, who he probably explicitly sought out to air his grievances on RAW Talk.

The Miz wants his sweater back and Dexter Lumis gone from WWE, in that order.

“Johnny Gargano stole my cashmere sweater!” Miz said to Kelley before she could even ask him a question.

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Rey Mysterio with Lane Johnson on his left and Jason Kelce on his right with the WrestleMania 40 logo as the background.

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Johnny Gargano with a text bubble reading “It’s perfect” next to Tommaso Ciampa with the WrestleMania 40 logo as the background.

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Nic Nemeth next to the blacked-out silhouette of Bron Breakker with the NXT logo as the background.

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“The merino wool one? I worked in retail,” Kelley replied.

“It doesn’t matter!” Miz responded. “It was a very expensive sweater. Do you know what? Johnny Gargano has butted his business into mine and I am sick of it. And I am sick of Dexter Lumis. But in two weeks time, two weeks time, I will rid WWE, even though he doesn’t have a contract, I will rid WWE of Dexter Lumis. And I can say his name now because I just don’t care. In two weeks time, people are going to talk all of their talk, ‘oh, you know, well Miz is never gonna do it.’ When things are on the line, I win; There’s a reason why I’m a two-time Grand Slam Champion, There is a reason why I’ve been here for 18-plus years and have the accolades I have. And in two weeks time, get it all in right now, of your Johnny Garganos and your Dexter Lumis, cause Dexter Lumis is going bye-bye. And it’s by The Miz. Thank you! And if you see my sweater, my cardigan, please let me know.”

Theoretically, Gargano's plan actually works out very well for Miz; if he wins, all of his problems wash away, and he can move forward as he sees fit, be that attempting to secure a new media opportunity with an actual agent instead of a private investigator posing as an agent, talking about his balls in a segment that Vince McMahon really seemed to enjoy, or pursuing the puppy/kitten route as previously suggested. Who knows, Miz seems like a talented guy, maybe he could join Elias and Matt Riddle's band, or better yet, try to break up their team in order to get cheap heat with fans who love “The Original Bro?” Alternatively, maybe he could become the new Dean of Alpha Academy, a position that doesn't technically exist but also doesn't not exist either. Regardless, if The Miz wants to leave Lumis and potentially even Gargano in the rearview and focus on his future with Johnny Wrestling's former #DIY tag team partner Tommaso Ciampa, all he has to do is go into Survivor Series and secure the win. Unfortunately, that's a lot easier said than done, as Lumis is no joke in the ring.