Austin Theory. Austin “A-Town Down” Theory. Austin “Freakin” Theory; no matter what you call him, the prized adoptive son of Vince McMahon, the man responsible for the worst cash-in in the history of the Money in the Bank contract, just did the unthinkable and made himself the youngest two-time United States Champion in the history of WWE when he defeated Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley for the honor at Survivor Series.

Alright, so what happened? Well, right from the jump, both Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley just sort of ignored Theory, with the duo taking turns washing him out from the ring apron to start off the match. Still, Theory persisted, and as the match continued on, he just kept sticking around. He broke up a Hurt Lock Attempt by Lashley on Rollins with a sleeper, got in the middle of another Hurt Lock attempt by Lashley that set up a big superkick by “The Architect,” and in the end, after almost eating a Falcon Arrow, Theory set up Rollins for a spear by Lashley before securing a pin for the 1-2-3.

Was it a clean finish? No, if anything, it was the opposite of a clean finish, but after failing to cash in his MitB contract in what is as close to a guaranteed title victory as WWE has to offer, Theory regained his United States Championship once more, even if the fans in the TD Garden hated it and the fans online weren’t all that hot on it either.

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