After five months away from the ring, Carmella is officially back in WWE, having been booked in a fatal four-way match to decide on one of the two final spots in the Elimination Chamber “Premium Live Event” in February.

While it’s impossible to know how ready to rumble the now-brunette grappler is to go toe-to-toe-to-toe-to-toe against Candice LeRae, Mia Yim, and Piper Niven – fka Doudrop – for a spot in the Montreal-based show, it’s clear Mella’s confidence is as on as ever, as she explained to Cathy Kelley backstage.

“Look, I’m going to need a little extra excitement from you, a little more enthusiasm. I’m Carmella,” Carmella said. “I am the moonwalking, trash-talking princess of Statin Island, and I am back, baby, I’m back! And I’m about to be back on top where I belong because next week, I’m going to win that fatal four-way match and earn my spot at the Elimination Chamber because Mella. Is. Money. And there isn’t a single woman in that locker room who-”

Before Mella could finish, Asuka crashed the interview and began gushing blue liquid out of her mouth before Corey Graves’ favorite wrestler left the interview in disgust.

Yikes, that’s creepy. While it’s impossible to know what message Asuka was trying to tell the returning superstar, she did provide some insight on Twitter into her intentions, noting that “I have something to tell Mella is Money. It’s a chaotic economic situation right now.”

Did Mella just accidentally walk into the human buzzsaw known to the world as the Murder Clown? Unfortunately, that appears to be the case.

Live and breathe sports?

🚨 Get viral graphics, memes, rumors and trending sports news delivered right to your inbox with the Clutch Newsletter.

Carmella attempts to further understand Auska… and Icees.

After RAW went off the air, Byron Saxton went to the back to see if he could get a word in with Carmella backstage and needless to say, got a whole lot more than he was bargaining for.

“Do you know who I am?” Carmella asked Saxton, who almost certainly knows who she is. “I’m Carmella! I am the moonwalking, trash-talking princess of Statin Island. I am back, and the honeymoon phase is not over, it just started. I thrive, thrive on high-pressure situations, so next week, the honeymoon phase is just going to continue cause I’m going to go one to Elimination Chamber and I’m gonna prove to everyone why Mella is money. But do you want to know something that I can’t get out of my head? I don’t know if you saw earlier tonight but Asuka, everyone’s like so scared of Asuka, no one’s ready for Asuka. Well guess what? I’m ready for Asuka because I’m always ready honey. I don’t get ready because I stay ready. Did you see what happened tonight? She had, like, this blue stuff dripping down her chin. Though it did make me want to have an icee. Did you know those icees you get at the movie theater with the spoon at the bottom of the straw? I kind of want one of those. But that was disgusting, that was gross. But I do want an icee.”

After discussing the merits of different icee flavors, Saxton naturally likes cherry, Mella got back to the question at hand.

WWE, Vladimir Kozlov, Ryback, Kharma, The Boogeyman, WWE one hit wonders

Spencer See ·

Kane, Omos, Andre the Giant, Big Show, WWE, tallest WWE wrestlers

Spencer See ·

“Aren’t you so excited I’m back?” Carmella asked. “I’m so excited to be back. I’m so excited to, like, moonwalk and trash-talk and umph, umph, umph, umph.”

What does it all mean? Does it mean anything at all? I guess fans will have to tune in next week to find out.