Jim Cornette has, um, complicated feelings about AEW. While he will occasionally like something the promotion does, occasionally for the most random of reasons, and has noted “guys” in the promotion like MJF and FTR, for the most part, the long-time wrestling multi-hyphenate has loathed the remaining founding executive vice presidents of the company, since before it came into existence and considers Tony Khan nothing more than a “money mark” who can’t run a clean ship.
While his hatred isn’t solely centered on AEW alone, as Cornette really doesn’t like Bray Wyatt, as trashed Braun Strowman, and has taken particular pleasure in tearing down the current efforts of NWA, who booked Tyrus to win the Ten Pounds of Gold despite being, well, Tyrus, the former Camp leader takes particular joy in attacking The Elite more than most, and his fans love nothing more than to tune in multiple times a week to hear him shred it on his podcast between adds for Keeps and Steven P. New, attorney at law.
Unfortunately for fans of Corny’s Drive-Thru, for two and a half months, they didn’t have their favorite punching bad to throw jabs at, as they were suspended for taking part in the Brawl Out after AEW All Out. Cornette had to watch more WWE, reminisce about the bad old days, and turn his attention to Jon Moxley, a “garbage backyard wrestler” that he was never the biggest fan of but really went in on with Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks out.
But wait, in a fantastic twist of fate for hate watchers the world over, the Elite returned at Full Gear, and you’d better believe Cornette had a ton to say on the matter.
Jim Cornette laid in on The Elite after AEW Full Gear.
Cutting an episode of The Jim Cornette Experience, the show’s namesake decided to shoot on the second match of AEW Full Gear 2022, and needless to say, he had a ton to say.
“But nevertheless, speaking of insufferable douchebags, let’s move on to this match,” Cornette said. “They had the dramatic milk of the EVPs music and then a video on the screen of sh*t they had written about themselves, and they’re wayward sons, and they will carry on. They in their minds and in the universe of their small little clique of stooges and sycophants. Cutlet and knock it off and Phallus, these three think that they’re the sh*t, they think that they are f*cking superstars.”
“And then Tony has dipped in his pocket again, here comes the opening strings of Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas, and they say that I’m behind the times on my musical taste. Tony had to pony up to f*cking Kansas, and or their record company, to indulge these f*cking tw*ts, their Godd*mn wayward son entrance and their big return. And so here they come with Cutlet and knock it off, and Phallus, the guys who built the company and the ones whose pettiness and self-indulgent masturbatory fantasies of themselves are going to tear it down. And the corpse referee was in charge of the action, it had all the ingredients of an indie-rific spectacle.”
“And the fans that were there love those f*cking dorks, and then the bell rang. And we already knew what it was going to be. And all six of these guys only ever have one match and they do the same sh*t every time. And to be honest, if I stopped to break down how stupid and phony each of these middle school cheerleading routines were, it would take three hours, people would be bored.”
“AEW botches on Twitter, catch them while it last folks, put up a great segment of this thing sent to yackety sacks that fit, it wasn’t speeded up, it just looked like it. I will say it was unwatchable to anybody that’s ever been a fan of pro-wrestling or considered themselves a professional in this industry. And then Felix hit Twinkle Toes in the head with a hammer and beat him 123. Did I miss any nuances of this contest?”
Welp, you have to give it to Cornette, he really likes to talk and usually has a lot to say, so it all works out. While some will quibble with some of the points he made on the show, like his consistently strange nicknames, his disdain for spot-heavy matches, and his personal hatred for the Jacksons and Omega as people more so than performers, you at least have to give it to the should-be WWE Hall of Famer; he has a perspective, and he isn’t just jumping from popular opinion to popular opinion in whatever direction the wind is blowing on any given day.
The second match of the #BestOf7Series is on between #DeathTriangle & #TheElite for the #AEW World Trios Title at Wednesday Night #AEWDynamite LIVE from @WintrustArena in Chicago at 8pm ET/ 7pm CT on @TBSNetwork!
Get tickets to see it LIVE! https://t.co/UN1cNj1kQqpic.twitter.com/lcoBds1zcw
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) November 22, 2022