Does anyone else remember when Aquaman grossed over $1 billion? It feels like ages ago since Jason Momoa's first solo venture in the DCEU was a massive hit.
Oh how the times have changed.
A half-decade later, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is coming out. The long-awaited sequel (to some) brings back its familiar ensemble and pits them against a new threat. This time around, the film feels cut to the bone and stripped of any semblance of fat, sacrificing any interesting plot point for “fun” action sequences or brotherly banter.
But it has all been done before, and done better. Even the film's MCU references feel like a sad cry of jealousy for the (somehow) superior superhero franchise. This leaves Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, as its title suggests, lost and pointless as the DCEU mercifully reaches its final curtain call.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom review
Years after the events of Aquaman, Arthur Curry (Momoa) is now the King of Atlantis. As anyone with the personality of Travis Kelce and the physique of Dave Bautista would be, he's bored of the new responsibilities. He has a kid now with Mera (Amber Heard) and would rather be above the surface with him rather than attending council meetings.
Eventually, a new threat arises. David Kane (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) has become possessed by a mythical trident. And after the events of the first film — don't worry, the film has got you covered with convenient flashbacks in case you forgot what happened — he seeks revenge. He's aiming to take down Arthur, his family, and all of Atlantis.
This leads Arthur to a reluctant ally: his brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson). Together, the two have to save the fate of Atlantis.
Cut to the bone
Very little about this Aquaman sequel is inspiring. It all starts with its script, which feels as though it was stripped to its very bone. If you thought that The Marvels was trimmed of any fat, wait until you see Aquaman 2.
It's not that the story is incoherent like The Marvels. Rather, the film is so fluid and hardly stops. That usually would be a good thing for superhero movies, which have grown accustomed to overstaying their welcome in recent years. However, editing scenes down vs. writing them in a way that assumes the least of its audience are two separate things.
They say no good deeds go unpunished, but no significant actions go unexplained in Aquaman 2. Even as someone who doesn't remember anything about the first film, it's almost insulting how little James Wan and Co. assume of the average Aquaman 2 viewer. The stakes of the film, which aren't high to begin with, are constantly reinforced by a character at any chance they get.
If it felt like Blue Beetle was simply running to its next action sequence, Aquaman 2 is driving down a freeway to get there. From the scene where Arthur breaks his brother out of jail, it becomes clear that there's no interest in telling a story in between these sequences. Instead, they would rather quickly explain whatever is important to the scene, have a quick fight, and then put their characters back on their journey.
The Amber Heard problem
It all makes you wonder how much of the film was worked around Amber Heard and her trial. Her whole controversy was an elephant in the room, and it feels like she got the Evangeline Lilly in Ant-Man 3 treatment.
Maybe she was never a significant part of Aquaman 2's story. But it's still extremely weird that she's never shown on land taking care of her child with Arthur early on in the film.
Nicole Kidman is also absent from most of the film. When she is shown, she's usually joined at the hip with Heard. Perhaps as a result of Heard's role being minimized, hers was too.
All of it feels choppy. It's possible that I'm overthinking Heard's diminished role, but it's one of the many things that stick out like a sore thumb in Aquaman 2.
MCU references
It's fitting that the final line in the DCEU is a reference to the first MCU film. And no, that's unfortunately not the only reference to the other big superhero franchise in town.
Some may find Arthur calling his brother “Loki” funny, while others may roll their eyes. Instead of being a cheeky, tongue-in-cheek laugh, it comes off as a cheap attempt at a joke and a jealous one at that.
Stories about bickering brothers have been done to death, and the “enemy of my enemy is my friend” ethos has similarly been overdone. Combine the two and you have Aquaman 2, which has half the charm of even the first two Thor films.
Patrick Wilson tries, though he's hamstrung with a dance partner, Momoa, who can hardly act on a good day. Like Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, Momoa has done enough to somehow endear himself with DCEU audiences as Aquaman. But even he seems so disinterested in this film that it almost seems like he was told about the fate of the DCEU on the spot.
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II showed his menacing capabilities in the recent Candyman remake. His performance as David Kane/Black Manta goes as far as the writing will allow it. But the villain itself is not nearly as important as Arthur and Orm's relationship, pushing him to the background for large chunks of the movie.
Not that any of the other jokes are that funny, either. David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, who wrote the script based on a story he developed with Wan, Momoa, and Thomas Pa'a Sibbett, fixates on anatomy jokes. The same template was used several times and got no laughs from the crowd.
Should you watch Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom?
This was the saddest way that the DCEU could go out. To be fair, it never had a chance since everyone is aware that the events in the film are rendered useless going forward. Once James Gunn and Peter Safran's DCU regime takes over, Aquaman 2 will become a distant memory. For most, it probably will be well before then.
What's saddest about Aquaman 2 is that it's a reminder of the DCEU as it was. At one point, this was a blossoming franchise that hit its peak when Aquaman made over a billion dollars. Since then, the landscape of superhero movies has changed and Jason Momoa's character suffered from that.
Aquaman 2 isn't a good enough film to justify seeing. And its lack of stakes effectively kills and stabs a trident through any chance of making it any more appealing. The DCEU ends with a whimper and Aquaman 2 sinks to the lowest depths of obscurity.
Grade: D
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom will be released on December 22.
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