Well, now that Super Bowl 58 is in the bag and Monday morning quarterbacking has begun for the big game, let's do the same with this year's crop of commercials, now that we've seen them all. There were no standout game-changer ad like the Tubi one from last year that had everyone panicked and fumbling for the TV remote, but there were definitely some strong entries. At the same time, there were a few hot mess dumpster fires as well.

Time will tell what Travis Kelce was saying to Andy Reid when Kelce was so upset and bombarded his coach on the sideline, but it very well could have been, “Hey, did you see that Temu ad?!” It would explain why Kelce appeared to be boiling over with rage (that “ooh, ooh temu” theme song could make anyone snap).

Anyway, here's the best of the good, the bad, and the ugly from Super Bowl 58's commercials this year during the Chiefs' win over the 49ers.

7) Mountain Dew Baja Blast

Fans of Parks and Recreation should be stoked to see April Ludgate and Ron Swanson back together again, admitting in their droll delivery that they were “having a blast” in both mundane and outlandish scenarios thanks to the new Mountain Dew Baja Blast they were holding. Granted, they were playing themselves — Aubrey Plaza and Nick Offerman — not their actual Parks and Rec characters, but it sure felt like April and Ron were off on a slightly surreal adventure while Leslie Knope dealt with something more serious at the Sweetums factory.

 

6) CeraVe – Michael Cera ad

And to think all this time I thought I was the only one whose mind occasionally wandered to Michael Cera when noticing a bottle of CeraVe lotion! Apparently not, as the skincare promoter concocted a whole ad devoted to the notion that Michael Cera should and would be the perfect spokesperson for the company. The CeraVe tagline at the end of “Developed with dermatologists, not Michael Cera” doesn't take away from Cera's pitch for inclusion in the company. It's a winning commercial about a lovable misfit, and also skin cream.

5) Pfizer ad

The pharmaceutical giant, eager to counter the vile conspiracy theory nonsense spouted by some on the far right about the company since the days of Covid, decided to stay classy and made a commercial highlighting scientific achievement in an upbeat and musical ad. Set to the Queen hit “Don't Stop Me Now” the ad did a good job reminding people that Pfizer has been at the forefront of inventing important medications like Penicillin and being a place of employment for important medical scholars and research. It did a nice job brushing off its place in the culture wars and pushing forward to the future, while reminding people that eradicating and/or controlling deadly diseases is a good thing!

4) Christopher Walken BMW ad

We all love doing Christopher Walken impressions, so it was fun to see so many talented impressionists taking a crack at it in front of the man himself. But the tie-in to the new electric BMW proved elusive until the very end of the commercial, when the announcer proclaimed “There's only one Christopher Walken, and only one ultimate driving machine.” Worth the wait, voice over guy, and way to tie it all together.

3) Beyoncé / Tony Hale Verizon ad

This was a big week for non-traditional new music and album drop announcements, with two huge ones coming from the two biggest names in pop music. First it was Taylor Swift dropping the news about her new album from the Grammys stage, and now Beyoncé announced two new songs in a Verizon commercial of all places.

So naturally the company paired her with an oddball counterpart like Tony Hale (aka Buster Bluth from Arrested Development). Seeing Beyoncé as Barbie, or as the President, was fun enough — but finding out the ad mentioning new music was actually legit, and was followed immediately by Beyoncé dropping the new tunes on her socials made it extra special.

2) The Fall Guy trailer

This Fall Guy trailer lived up to its promise and had a little bit of everything — feeling like the freshest movie trailer entry by far from the crowded field. It probably would have made this list even without the Taylor Swift reference, but with everyone wondering if the talk of the NFL season herself would work her way into a Super Bowl ad, Gosling found a nice, subtle, organic way to weave in a reference without having to book the touring pop goddess. Finding out Ryan Gosling cries to the Taylor Swift anthem “All Too Well” caused all too many feelings for Swifties and Gosling lovers alike.

1) Dunkin' Donuts – “The DunKings”

Ben Affleck's decision to go to J-Lo's place of occupation, the recording studio, and unleash a “Boston massacre” of a Boston-themed boy band onto her recording session was priceless, as were J-Lo's reactions to his melody and the cameos from the likes of Tom Brady and Matt Damon. When Damon self-consciously utters “How do you like them… donuts — I'm sorry” it had America not just runnin' on Dunkin', but laughin' out loud as well, and thus wins our top commercial spot for Super Bowl 58.

8) Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes trailer

A king ape getting his legions to repeat the phrase “what a wonderful day” over and over and over again wasn't as powerful as the filmmakers seem to think it was. That coupled with the mouthful of a prequel-sequel-whatever-it-is title with far too many prepositions in it made for a less than stellar trailer drop and Super Bowl ad.

7) Popeyes chicken “The Wait Is Over” / Ken Jeong ad

Lot of head scratchers in this one. When was Ken Jeong frozen in time? And when was he thawed — present day? The future? Has he not been living amongst us all these years? It all felt like a bit confusing and unnecessary, especially since we've already known about Popeye's wings for some time now, so they really didn't need a Super Bowl reveal.

6) Messi / Michelob Ultra ad

Lord knows it's good to be Lionel Messi these days, but maybe this is one project he could have turned down. Who goes to play soccer on the beach while they're waiting for their Michelob Ultra? And who orders a Michelob Ultra? Seeing Jason Sudeikis mention knowing Lionel was cute was a second but didn't really go anywhere, and seeing Dan Marino pick up the soccer ball with his hands and throw it like a football was out of left field and felt sacrilegious. The message here was muddled, and the greatest soccer player of his era deserved better.

5) Ice Spice – Starry soda

Another puzzler. What exactly happened to Ice Spice's ex, lemon-lime soda? The ad writers seem to have followed the motto, when in doubt as to how to end a commercial, make lemon-lime soda explode out of someone's head. Interesting choice, but not in a good way. Plus we saw so many cutaways to Ice Spice having fun in the box suite with Taylor Swift during the actual game, we really didn't need to see her with a Starry soda during commercials as well.

4) Nerd clusters

Now, I can personally vouch for the deliciousness of these new little jobbers, but did any of us ask for our nerd clusters to be personified as gelatinous flubber-like blobs to the tune of “What a feeling” (a song that also appeared in the better-executed T-Mobile sketch with Zach Braff and Donald Faison)? I didn't think so. Now you have us shame eating, Nerds, picturing our sugary snack's anthropomorphized innards as we eat it. Shame on you.

3) Vote for Kennedy political ad

The political ad for Robert F. Kennedy's independent run for President was quite the misfire. He was clearly trying to harken back to the days of John F. Kennedy with the nostalgic imagery, but this dude is no JFK. He might say he's part of the Kennedy family but his policies run counter to the rest of his famous brood, so it's not really wise of him to draw such a thirsty connection there.

2) Homes.com

This one was a real bummer — so much talent wasted in an ad featuring Dan Levy and Heidi Gardner. After many weeks of pre-Super Bowl hype, the bar was set pretty high and it did not live up to expectations. Heidi Gardner's comedic talents showcased every week on SNL were largely wasted, and it's never a good thing to have a character in your commercial comment on how clever your tagline is, We've done your homework? Is it really even that clever?

1) Temu

Yikes. I still don't know what Temu is, and I don't want to know. Everything about this commercial was disturbing — the animation, the song jingle, the prices of the products featured. There was a major disturbance in the force when it came to this commercial and I don't care to stick around to find out what it was. Let's just say it was far scarier than the new Quiet Place film trailer without trying to be.

So there you have it. The best of the best and the worst of the worst for Super Bowl 58 commercials. Now if you'll excuse me, a bag of Nerd Clusters is calling.