Was Argylle author mystery a ploy to hide fact that film is terrible?

Now that all the hoopla over just who wrote the new film Argylle has died down a bit and the film's release date is fast approaching, it's time to get to the business of actually reviewing the film — and that phase of the publicity machine has been far less kind to director Matthew Vaughn and the rest of the Argylle creative team.

To put it succinctly, the talk has gone from who is Elly Conway, the mysterious writer behind Argylle to… maybe no one wanted to be associated with this script by their real name.

The film currently is coughing up a hairball on Rotten Tomatoes with a score of 32% as of Wednesday.

Top critics such as Hoai-Tran Bui from Inverse are saying things like, “It's a nesting doll of a movie — a glib, winking, referential spy comedy that layers twist upon twist on top of each other to hide the fact there’s nothing at the center.”

Matt Singer from ScreenCrush boiled Argylle down to its essence, saying “A talented cast trapped in an endless story with a fake cat.” Me-ouch.

Kevin Maher from The Times (UK) poetically noted, “It’s a testament to the low-grade lethargy that informs so much of the writing here that his character template never evolved further than “Henry Cavill + wacky haircut = hilarity”.”

Critics are also finding fault with the fact that the Argylle book the film is based on is a more traditionally told espionage thriller, but the film seems to have added a meta-layer involving the author of the book, Elly Conway, being injected into the plot in a way far less satisfying than Charlie Kaufman's classic Adaptation did it.

Sounds like all those “Did Taylor Swift write Argylle rumors?” may have been concocted as a distraction from the film itself, which doesn't seem to stand on its own four paws, judging by initial critical reactions.