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If you're a Buffalo Bills fan, chances are you've gotten a text from at least a handful of friends last night and this morning checking in on how you're doing after last night's pitiful loss to the lowly Denver Broncos. The news of Bills' offensive coordinator Ken Dorsey's firing this morning may have eased the pain a little, but not enough to dull the sinking sensation in the pits of our Frank's Red Hot-filled stomachs that the Bills have let another season slip away.
If you're like me, you're already trying to file where this loss ranks on the list of worst Bills' defeats of all time. You're also questioning whether you should have named your kid's youth basketball team after the Bills and ordered Bills socks for the whole team which probably would have been half-price today… but that's an issue for another day.
The question of where this loss ranks in Bills' lore is entirely fair game, unlike the sport of football itself — which proved itself an unfair game to those in the Upstate New York area many years ago. Where this particular heartbreak of an affair fits in should be considered carefully, as should the number of players on a field during a field goal attempt, but I digress yet again. Let's just get to the list, shall we?
Top 5 worst Bills losses of all time
#1) Super Bowl XXV – aka “wide right” – We better start with the worst Bills loss of all time, measure our body's physiological response to how that loss still makes us feel, compare it to how we feel from the Denver loss, and if it's still worse we'll move the Denver loss down the list accordingly until we find it's proper place, much like how we used to rank DVDs in our Netflix queue (I'm not sure what that metaphor has to do with anything, other than the fact that Netflix by mail and the 2023 Buffalo Bills were both once-illustrious franchises that died this past month).
Anyway, Scott Norwood kicking that 47 yard field goal wide right and seeing Jim Kelly shed a single tear afterward still feel far worse down to my core than a regular season loss to Russell Wilson and Sean Payton. Let's keep moving it down the list.
#2) Super Bowls XXVI through XXVIII – These still feel worse too. The Bills' loss to the mighty Mark Rypien-led Redskins was expected, but it always hurts to have to type the how-was-it-not-changed-sooner?! former name of the Commanders.
The other reason this one still really stings is that the Bills' were famously represented beforehand as the losers in a classic Simpsons Super Bowl episode in which Homer spends time with Lisa just to use her for her incomparable gambling ability on football games. Lisa, so hurt by the betrayal, says she'll only love her father again if Washington beats Buffalo in the Super Bowl. Is there any sadder fate than being the physical embodiment of a loss of a daughter's love for her father? I think not.
Also seeing Jimmy Johnson and his hair helmet celebrate after the two Cowboys Super Bowls is still painful as well. The only bright spot from either of those games is the still epic Don Beebe stripping Leon Lett short of the end zone play, which seemed like it would never be topped (until a Washington Huskies' defender's non-sensical short of the end zone debacle this past weekend).
#3) 2021 AFC Divisional playoff game, Chiefs-Bills. If Monday's Denver Broncos game becomes known as the “12 men” game due to that inconceivable too many men on the field call at the close of the game, it's nice to know there's another traumatic Bills game known for the next chronological number in the sequence — the “13 seconds” game of 2021.
The Bills had this game. They matched the Chiefs toe to toe through nearly four quarters, and then outplayed them in the game's final minutes to clinch a much-deserved win. Except they didn't. With 13 seconds remaining on the clock and electing not to do a squib kick that would have run a few more seconds off, the Bills gave the Chiefs just enough time to get into field goal range and tie the game up, only to see the Chiefs get lucky with the overtime coin flip and win the game on the opening (and only drive) of overtime.
The post-game texts received by Bills fans after this game were largely complimentary. Everyone knew we deserved this one, if only the overtime rules were different and the Bills could have at least gotten the ball one more time. And the NFL agreed, finally changing the league's overtime rules after this game.
But it doesn't make this one hurt any less. This Bills' victory would have represented them finally winning the big one against the Chiefs, and would have catapulted them to a surefire victory against the overmatched Cincinnati Bengals of that year the following game. Instead we had to watch a subpar Bengals-Rams Super Bowl that didn't really satisfy anyone outside of those two markets.
#4) 2000 AFC Wild Card playoff game, Titans-Bills, aka the Music City Miracle. This infamous gem featured the Bills inexplicably switching from beloved fan-favorite quarterback Doug Flutie to backup Rob Johnson after a last-week-of-the-regular-season anomaly because, according to Bills' head coach Wade Phillips, the Bills' owner Ralph Wilson thought it was a good move. And yet despite playing the in-over-his-head Johnson at quarterback, the Bills somehow managed to eke out what should have been a game-winning field goal with 16 seconds left.
Except that the Titans then ran a special kickoff return play they called the “Home Run Throwback” and Bills fans called “a forward lateral” that resulted in the Titans scoring a miraculous last second touchdown. In Music City. Hence the catchy nickname.
The Titans then went on to win their next two games and make it to the Super Bowl against Kurt Warner and the L.A. Rams, a matchup they basically only lost by one yard as time expired. It stands to reason then that had the Bills played Doug Flutie, a far superior quarterback, in that Wild Card game against the Titans, it might have been Buffalo finally hoisting the Lombardi Trophy that year. Needless to say this one still hurts, and maybe even deserves a place farther up the list.
#5) Last night. Okay, fine, Broncos game, you made it into the top five, happy? Just as Rob Fleming tried to ease his breakup pain in Nick Hornby's memorable novel (and subsequent John Cusack film) High Fidelity by making a list of his Top 5 worst break ups of all time, assuming his most recent addition wouldn't even crack the list, so too did I try to numb my pain by assuming last night's defeat couldn't possibly compete with the Bills' other defining losses as a franchise. But to both my and Rob's chagrin, this one sure enough snuck onto the list at number five.
Mostly because it almost guarantees the Bills will miss the playoffs for the first time since Josh Allen was a rookie… And because it might spell the end for the current coaching regime (beyond merely Ken Dorsey)… And because of the ridiculous way in which they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory… Even though that victory was probably undeserved in the first place… But it really wasn't deserved by the Broncos either… And it's always annoying seeing Sean Payton's smug face after a win… And it was a home game…
Look, the Broncos loss was painful for a bunch of reasons and perhaps we should just leave it at that. But on the bright side, Buffalo Bills fans, at least this bumps the Ronnie Harmon dropped catch against the Browns game off of the list.
