Can’t a Kansas City celebrity barber just make a simple Instagram post detailing his Funday Sunday with his friends without it becoming a whole “thing”? Apparently not, at least not when your friends are Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce — since the internet seems to be going bonkers for midwestern hair artist Patrick Regan’s post and accompanying Swift, Kelce photo drops.

Regan took to Instagram on Monday to cause FOMO for all other barbers in the greater Kansas City area when he proclaimed on his account “Thanks @taylorswift for the Pics of the Gameday Freshy for @killatrav 🙌🏼❤️ I had an Amazing Time at Yesterdays Game 🏈 ..”

Then, realizing he had the attention of the nation with the Swift and Kelce tags, came the obligatory product plug, ensuring a lifetime supply of free hairstyling equipment: “Also, check out my Mini Travel Case 🧰 that I use to carry almost all the tools I need by @babyliss4barbers 🔥 It’s the perfect little kit that was well thought out and designed for traveling barbers, and also fits right inside my Babyliss Travel Backpack 🎒 Dynamic Duo 🤘🏻‼️”

If only Regan’s product placement was as organic as the fade up the side of Kelce’s head.

The accompanying photos paint quite a picture — Regan concentrating so profoundly hard on Kelce’s frat brah hairdo that he must use a head lamp to follow every last follicle down to its poetic end; a side profile shot of Regan showing his aforementioned mini travel case, while also plugging Kelce’s New Heights podcast in the background; the unzipping, unpacking and tedious re-zipping and re-packing of same BaByLissPro travel case; a pic of Regan watching the game in the celebrity suite with Swift and her friends; Kelce’s haircut in all its glory, as he dons his uniform pre-game.

 

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A post shared by Patrick Regan (@patty_cuts)

Then the pics really get interesting. Next up is Kelce driving into the stadium in his Rolls Royce, waving to fans as he passes. All this is filmed from the passenger seat — presumably by Taylor Swift herself, you guys!

This is followed by yet another pic of that damn barber supplies carrying case! We get it, Pat, you got paid a fortune to show us the case — but until it’s on sale for $30 at Costco, it’s probably not going to happen for most of America, so get to the money shots already!

Next up is the view of Arrowhead Stadium as fans file in, before the Bills broke their spirit with a hard-fought win. Then a picture of Travis Kelce getting out of his Rolls Royce, holding some sort of beverage, which bears an unfortunate resemblance to a can of White Claw (perhaps he’s holding it for Taylor though?).

And finally, the shot that caused blown minds all across social media, a hazy filtered image of Taylor Swift gracing Travis Kelce with a sweet cheek kiss as an explosion of Christmas lights fill the background.

The tongue-in-cheek comments on this one came fast and furious, with one Instagram user proclaiming “That last photo didn’t just break the internet it broke ME.”

A similar comment faux-gushed, “You literally saved a nation by posting this t&t [Taylor & Travis] photo, I wish you A LOT of success in your life, best wishes, all the best for doing this kindness 😂❤️❤️.”

So there you have it. While the rest of us get a haircut and then go on with our lives, thanking our barber and wishing him or her a good holiday season until we meet up again for our late January brush-up trim — this man, Patrick Regan, orchestrated a haircut that forever altered the course of mankind. Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift and the rest of humanity — nay, all living creatures — will never be the same. At least until the next edition of the BaByLissPro travel carrying case comes out.