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With the highly anticipated release of Taika Waititi's upcoming underdog soccer film, Next Goal Wins, it's only natural for the mind's eye to wander nostalgically to favorite soccer movies of years past. And since these are sports movies we're talking about here, we better make this “best of” list competitive and rank the top five in ascending order… until we arrive at the GOAT of soccer flicks! Without further adieu, let's adieu this thing! Starting with…
#5 – Ladybugs
All you need to know about this one is Rodney Dangerfield as a girls soccer coach. It might not be quite as much of a Dangerfield sports classic as Caddyshack or Back to School, and it hasn't aged particularly gracefully in the age of preferred pronouns and gender identity. (The plot hinges on Dangerfield sneaking his stepson onto a girls' soccer team by throwing a wig on him and disguising him as a girl.) But if you get past these borderline cancel-able offenses by today's standards, the film does have some vintage Dangerfield lines, like him looking into his trunk filled with a bunch of soccer balls and proclaiming, “All I know is, I got a lotta balls.” Ok, come to think of it, perhaps nothing in this film has aged well. Let's just say it seemed like the fifth funniest soccer movie in 1992. And now let's move on.
#4 – Kicking & Screaming
This one is wayyy more enlightened. It features Will Ferrell as a youth soccer coach who gets ultra-competitive and starts taking things far too seriously (much like his “Brandon, get back on the bag!” SNL shouting Dad character). You can count the jokes that don't hold up well on one hand, plus it features memorable performances from Robert Duvall, Mike Ditka and Kate Walsh, in the obligatory-supportive-wife-who-is-far-too-good-of-an-actress-to-simply-play-the-supportive-wife-but-it-was-2005-so-there-weren't-many-other-options role. It falls somewhere between Talladega Nights and Semi-Pro in the Ferrell sports movie rankings, but still makes the list for some amusing kid characters on the soccer team and a ridiculous coffee addiction subplot that lets Ferrell do his thing. But if you don't agree with this one making the list, consider checking out the 1995 indie darling also called Kicking and Screaming, which marked the feature directorial debut of Barbie co-writer Noah Baumbach. You're bound to enjoy one of the two (though full disclosure, the Baumbach version has nothing to do with soccer).
#3 – Fever Pitch
This tale of soccer (but it's called football here, since the film's set in England) and love hails from the brilliant and witty mind of novelist Nick Hornby (who also wrote the highly enjoyable books High Fidelity and About A Boy, which also then got the movie treatment). The loose basis for this film is Hornby's 1992 best-selling memoir Fever Pitch: A Fan's Life. In the adaptation, Colin Firth tries to balance his obsession for his favorite football team with maintaining a romantic relationship with Ruth Gemmell, who doesn't love being second fiddle. Movie studios didn't trust American audiences to relate to a fan obsession with the kind of football that actually involves feet, so they remade Fever Pitch in 2005 as a Farrelly Brothers' baseball movie with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. That one was also pretty decent, but this is a soccer list so let's show we've become a little more cultured as a nation since then and can now enjoy the British soccer version of the film as well, shall we?
#2 – Shaolin Soccer
This genre-bending Hong Kong sports comedy directed by Stephen Chow (who also played the lead in the film) is a classic for its innovative combining of kung fu movie tropes with sports film staples, yet somehow becoming something totally unique in the process. Chow plays a former Shaolin monk who, years after his master's death, gets his five brothers to reunite and together they unleash their superior martial arts skills on the soccer pitch, in the interest of ultimately bringing Shaolin kung fu to the masses. The film established Stephen Chow as a premiere filmmaker and he went on to have another major success in Kung Fu Hustle.
#1 – Bend it like Beckham
A teen comedy-drama sports classic, coming of age story and positive multicultural tale of female empowerment all in one?! Bend it like Beckham felt too good to be true when it premiered in 2002 to international success and rave reviews. The immigrant tale of Jess Bhamra (Parminder Nagra) trying to balance her love of soccer, with her raging teen hormones and the cultural demands of her traditional Indian family resonated near and far for its universal truths. This movie felt ahead of its time when it came out, and as a result still holds up quite well today, while remaining one of the highest grossing soccer movies of all time. It also gave rise to a few breakout Hollywood stars, with memorable supporting performances from Keira Knightley and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Not to mention a long-awaited cameo from David Beckham and Victoria Beckham in the film's closing minutes. The film felt as effortless and impressive as a bending David Beckham corner kick, hence it's ranking as number one on our list. Where will Taika Waititi‘s new film Next Goal Wins stack up? We'll just have to wait and see!
