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Stone Cold Steve Austin tells anti-mask troll to shut up

Stone Cold Steve Austin WWE

WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin does not have time for your shenanigans, pals. Not ever, really, nevertheless during a global pandemic.

Our bald-headed hero took to the mean streets of social media to share a post with the star wearing an Alabama Crimson Tide mask, but was then met by some heat from a random. And what does Stone Cold Steve Austin do when a rando pops up to talk smack? Well, heavens to Betsy, am I glad you asked.

In an extreme, now a bit tropey on social media, Jim Ross voice: By god, I think he just broke him in half.

Or something. Likely something, but you need not worry about semantics. The WWE doesn’t when booking matches or angles. Why should you about care about semantics or logic or anything?

Fun Steve Austin fact: In February of 1996, then known as The Ringmaster, Stone Cold narrowly defeated Marty Jannetty. How did he pull off what was clearly an upset? By using an illegal chokehold.

No for real. Don’t believe me? Watch this excellent WWE (then WWF) match, then catch the end when Austin slips his forearm underneath Marty’s chin, choking him with a banned move.

To be fair to Austin, most WWE wrestlers who had to go head-to-head with the immortal Marty Jannetty had no other choice but to cheat to earn a victory. After all, Marty once beat HBK who retired Ric Flair. Meaning, in a roundabout way, Marty > HBK > Flair.

Or, honestly, more accurately: Marty Jannetty is the greatest wrestler ever. Doesn’t matter if you’re viewing it from all federations ever perspective, or through a WWE or WWF or WCW or NWA or AWA lens — Marty is the GOAT.

Oh. Stone Cold Steve Austin was also very good.