The thing about Texas football is that, in their mind, they're never truly “down;” instead, they're temporarily embarrassed champions. Despite a decade of uninterrupted mediocrity, Longhorns are evidently feeling  oats as they prepare for their final season as a member of the Big 12 before joining the SEC in 2024. With an away game at Alabama this fall serving as an amuse bouche before the rivalry begins in earnest in 2024,  Texas governor Greg Abbott has already set his sights on Alabama, trash talking the Crimson Tide as the Longhorns prepare to kickoff spring  football practice.

““Texas was ahead until like the last 15 seconds of the game,” Governor Abbott said at a luncheon with donors and local businessmen in Austin, Texas, according to Austin Statesman reporter Ryan Autullo, “and Texas would have won had it not been for what was then the reigning Heisman Trophy winner Bryce Young being able to evade a tackle that would have led to a sack that would have prevented Alabama from getting within field goal range to win the game. That’s how close the game was.”

After airing his grievances from last year's game, Governor Abbott broke down the upcoming matchup. “Now some more analysis,” said the governor. “Texas has more returning starters than Alabama does. The quarterback that was literally running all over Alabama, Quinn Ewers, was injured early in the game. And he’ll be starting again, doing a great job. If he gets hurt he’s got a pretty good backup in (Arch) Manning. I have seen what appears to be Alabama’s starting quarterback, and he’s no Bryce Young. So I’m gonna say it’s gonna be 27-21 Texas Longhorns.”

The Texas Longhorns and Alabama Crimson Tide will face off on September 9th in Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama in one of the first marquee matchups of the 2023 college football season.