One thing is clear in today's fractured media landscape — it's good to have the last name Swift. Taylor continues to dominate every entertainment medium of mass communication imaginable.

But did you know that another — non-related — Swift, Jonathan, was doing the very same thing in Ireland during the 18th century?

And what about the Philadelphia Eagles starting running back, D'Andre Swift, who's starting to gel with his new team and putting up increasingly solid fantasy football numbers every week?

Finally, if you ever need to lift up to three tons on a single drop of intense super glue, another transformative figure — Flex Seal CEO Phil Swift — has shown us how, during long infomercial style advertisements that air during football games.

With all these Swifts dominating the free world right now, they each deserve their moment in the spotlight, in this deep dive Clutchpoints definitive list of…

The best Swifts ranked, from Taylor to D'Andre

1. Taylor Swift – Okay, sure, this one is a little obvious. Her concert tour is the pop cultural highlight of the year, the movie version of said concert is breaking box office records right and left, her relationship with Kansas City tight end Travis Kelce is captivating fans of music and football alike, and she could probably sell radioactive waste if she put (Taylor's Version) on the label. The unstoppable force that is Taylor Swift continues to make global headlines for her every little move. She is far and away the number one Swift of all time — and no, I do not need to calm down, you know it all too well, it's a global love story so baby just say yes.

2. Jonathan Swift – Here's where the list starts getting interesting. Taylor Swift fans love to debate amongst themselves who are the earliest Swifties within the fanbase, but in all honesty, the original hardcore, devoted followers of a pop cultural rock star with that name were the Jonathan Swifties of the early 1700s. These Swifties didn't pass out friendship bracelets to each other — they passed out political pamphlets written by the definitive Anglo-Irish satirist and essayist of his day. Ask any respected English professor and they'll tell you Jonathan Swift wrote some of the most influential works of his time, and beyond — including his sweeping epic Gulliver's Travels and his deadpan, ironically humorous musings in A Modest Proposal which became the standard all other works of its ilk were judged by. Okay, maybe his squad didn't actually refer to themselves as Jonathan Swifties, but the term “Swiftian” certainly emerged into the lexicon during this time to describe works reminiscent of this master of the English language, so there Taylor!

3. D'Andre Swift – You know, Taylor Swift isn't the only Swift celebrating a new “era” this year. NFL running back D'Andre Swift turned some heads when he got traded by the Detroit Lions this past offseason to the Philadelphia Eagles for a 2025 fourth-round pick and a swap of 2023 seventh-round picks. He put up solid numbers over his three seasons with the Lions after being drafted with the third pick of the second round in the 2020 NFL Draft, but D'Andre never quite emerged into the star back they were looking for. Now, that may be starting to change — he looks comfortable in the Philadelphia offense and is putting up better numbers every week, thanks to his deceptive speed and pass-catching ability. If the Eagles are able to get themselves back to the Super Bowl and win it this time, it may be due to their impressive backfield remix this season (D'Andre's Version). Just don't ask Jason Kelce to choose the most important Swift in his life… at least until after the season, or when things become more serious with Travis and Taylor.

4. Phil Swift – That brings us to last on our list, though certainly not least. As if we even need him to proclaim at the start of his commercials anymore, “Hi, Phil Swift here for Flex Seal.” Bruh, come on, your seals — like D'Andre Swift's receiver gloves — are mad sticky. Your specially patented, proprietary heavy-duty sealant gets two cracked edges of a roof panel coalesced back together like a Taylor Swift song gets stuck in your head. Remember when you made the world's first flex paste rubber boat out of your world-changing Flex Seal family of products? That was a mic drop moment if I ever saw one (if only you didn't have that Flex Super Glue on your fingers, sealing the microphone to your hand for all eternity). When you find a blank space, you don't sing about it, you fill it with liquid rubber sprayed out of a can — which makes you a transformative Swift figure in your own right.

So whether you're a Taylor, Jonathan, D'Andre or Phil Swiftie, you're swearing your allegiance to an epic world leader with one of the most sacred shared surnames you could ever imagine in your wildest dreams.